Now I don’t mean to critique you, but….

It doesn’t matter what you say after these words, it is NOT going to go well. Especially if you are on a date with a person that you would really like to see again. And, if you are going to say something like that, yes, you DO mean to critique the other person--giving a disclaimer like that only prepares the other person to get pissed at you!

Yet, last night on my date, the guy felt it necessary to say those exact words. Things had been going well up to that point, but after that, it was all downhill.

You might ask, why would he be so dumb as to say something like that? In his opinion, I don’t know how to flirt. I know, I know—for those of you who know me well, that may come as quite a shock to you. And for those of you who don’t know me, a little background—I am such a huge flirt, that it has been said I would flirt with a lamppost. But this guy not only decided that I didn’t know how to flirt, he felt he needed to bring it up in the middle of our date and ask me to try harder!

Other than that, we had a wonderful evening. We laughed non-stop, had lots in common and never had a problem with conversation. And if this had been the first time he had done something like this, I might have forgiven it. But this was not the first time he felt the need to critique me about something. Always before it was on instant messenger though and I figured I might be taking things wrong, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and went ahead and agreed to meet him in person. If he could have just kept his mouth shut, things would have ended on a much better note, and he quite possibly would have gotten a yes when he asked if I would see him again. Instead, I decided that he is not the kind of guy I want in my life and I told him that I didn’t see things going any further with us, and therefore I had to say no to another date.

What I didn’t tell him is that I see him as the type of guy who belittles a woman to the point that she feels she had better do everything in her power to hold onto him, because she no longer feels she is worth enough to be able to find another guy. Boy, did he choose the wrong girl to try that with! I fully feel that I deserve the type of guy who will treat me with respect and will only make me feel better about myself—never worse. And I refuse to settle for less.

So, a word of advice to you single people out there. Never, EVER utter the words, “Now I don’t mean to critique you, but,” when you are on a date, ESPECIALLY not on a first date. IT WILL NOT END WELL! The only possible reason I can think of to say something like that is if you want to get rid of the other person—you know, the kind that clings and won’t take the hint that you aren’t interested. In that situation, those words just might come in handy.

So, to sum it up, I had a good time on the date, but he is definitely not someone I could ever see myself dating.

Onto other, much better, news...Shawn is coming for a visit this weekend! Can’t wait to see you babe! We might try to go out ballroom dancing, if we can find a place. So, if anyone knows of somewhere in or near Charleston, WV to go dancing, please leave me a comment! Thanks!