Last night

Here's a question for my loyal readers--what is the proper (and successful) way to take someone's keys to keep him from driving drunk? It is amazing, but I have had the Kabuki Rodeo for two years now, and this is the first time (and hopefully the last) that this has ever been a concern.

Last night I hosted my first poker game in my new place. We had seven players and the night went really well. There was one rebuy, and the game ended with the last three standing agreeing to split the pot. This was about 1:00 am. We were ready for the night to end, so we continued playing another card game, followed by a drinking game. By 3:00, as you can imagine, everyone that was drinking was pretty well toasty.

It was at this point that people decided they were ready to leave. All but one person in the group had a designated driver with them, so there was no problem letting them leave. This left me and this guy Elliott. Here is a little history about him--the last time I had him over he and his friends refused to stay and sober up before driving home, and we couldn't get their keys from them. So this time, early on in the evening, I got Elliott's keys and put in my pocket so he wouldn't have them at the end of the night, just in case. By the time he was ready to leave he and another guy had finished off a bottle of Jack Daniels, plus many other drinks. His eyes were completely glassed over and he was barely able to stand straight, but to him he was "perfectly okay."

I tried at first to get him to stay without him knowing his keys were missing. This didn't work. The first time he "left" he made it out the door and up the steps before he realized he didn't have his wallet, keys, phone--anything. He came back in and we argued for a few more minutes about him leaving in the shape he was in. The second time he "left," again he made it to the top of the steps, but then I told him I would be there when he figured out he actually couldn't go anywhere. It was only then that he realized his keys were missing. He came back in and IMMEDIATELY was pissed. We kept talking, me telling him why I had took his keys, him telling me that he was "perfectly okay" to drive. His next argument was that I let everyone else leave, why not him? When I told him that they had all had a designated driver he tried arguing with me that they didn't. Had he not been so freaking drunk, he would have seen that we had multiple people NOT DRINKING, even during our DRINKING game. By this point he was starting to yell and curse like crazy--another way to tell that he was "perfectly okay." I told him it was fine for him to be pissed, I could understand, but that it wasn't getting him his keys back, which just managed to piss him off even more.

It was at this time that he decided it was time to use force to get his keys back. Again, another way to tell that he wasn't drunk, no, not at all. He backed me up against the couch and stood on my feet so that I couldn't move and began pretty much groping me looking for his keys. He finally found them in my front pocket and I fought back the best the I could trying to keep him from getting them out of my pocket, but in the end I lost when my finger got cut (just a small cut, but it hurt like hell) and I jerked back from the pain. He stormed out the door and left. At this point, I don't know if he made it home okay or not. I figure he will call eventually if he did because in his haste he left his CDs here.

So, back to my original question--what is the proper, and successful, way to take someone's keys to keep him from driving drunk? Luckily, all of my close friends are smart enough to know not to do this. At all of my parties in the past they have either come prepared to stay or had a designated driver. Had there been other people left here, maybe the group of us could have kept Elliott here, but I am not even sure about that. He will NEVER be invited back, so I won't have to deal with him again, but, it could happen with someone else, so I need to figure this out. Any help?

Poker Night

Yippee!!!! I finally won my first game of poker when there was money on the line!!! Pretty freaking cool, I have to say! :) I was getting cards like crazy last night--twice I had three aces, three or four other times I had three of a kinds with lower cards, even winning the game with three sixes. And then I think I had four or five flushes, one straight, and numerous one and two pair hands. It was unreal how well the night went for me--well enough to keep Jim from buying back in when he busted out. Fun times, fun times!

I am hosting my first game here next weekend. With any luck I should have a full table, and possibly a dart game going on with a few other people. I can't wait!!!

Me and the girls

Me, Tara, Gemma, and Kelly

My perfect man

I took one of those fun little tests tonight to see who my "celebrity love match" is. (Yes, true boredom has hit.) Can you guess???? PAPA SMURF!!!! It seems that all these years I have been wasting my time on men when I should have been smurfing a smurf. :)

Papa Smurf

He may seem like an odd choice as a celebrity love match. First, he is tiny. Second, he has blue balls. As the patriarch of the Smurfs, he has demonstrated that he is mature, responsible, and horny as hell. Plus, you can take road trips with him and say, 'Are we there yet, Papa Smurf?'

So, it seems my perfect man is a tiny man with blue balls, oh, and non-existent. Should have seem that one coming! :)

Too good to be true...

...but according to Snopes.com, it is. :)

Bush: One of the worst disasters to hit the U.S.

Enjoy!

Krav Maga

I went to my first, and unfortunately only, Krav Maga class last night. It is the training that the Israeli defense forces use, and now various law enforcement agencies use it in the United States, the FBI being among them. It is very hands on and meant to teach you real world self defense and to kick your butt into shape extremely fast. It was so cool! They taught us the proper way to punch, and showed us one kick. And then they had us punch and kick the hell out of this pad until we truly couldn't punch or kick any longer. My knuckles are all swollen on my hands! The one "move" they showed us was how to break a choke-hold if someone attacks you from the front and chokes you. To test us on this, they made half of the class stand with their eyes shut while the other half of the class went around choking us. It definitely made you panic just a little bit, not knowing who was going to get you or when they would get you. My friend Kelly from work went with me and I think we both had a good time beating up on the other one! We would both love to join and take the classes (last night was a free intro), but they charge $99/month, plus sign a contract for a year, and we both thought that was pretty excessive, considering we would probably only be able to make two classes a week. They have a full gym and other classes that they offer as well, but those aren't even included in the $99. I also didn't like the times of the classes that I would be able to take, so I guess it all works out. But, for those of you that have money to blow on fitness, trust me, this is an awesome class!

I have to say, I must not be quite as out of shape as I thought also. I figured I wouldn't be able to move today, but I really don't feel too bad at all. My arm muscles are tender and I have some bruises on my hands and wrists that bother me when I touch them, but overall my muscles aren't incredibly sore. Don't get the idea that it wasn't a good workout though--tomorrow will be day two, so I figure that is when I will really feel the pain!

Speaks for itself

Mine Tragedy Editorial Cartoon

WOO-HOO!

I had such a fun, crazy night on Friday that I am just now recovered enough to post about it! Okay, so maybe I was just too lazy to post during the rest if the weekend. But anyways, fun times!

A couple of girls from work (and one’s boyfriend) and I went out downtown with a girl we met in class last month, Gemma. She turned 21 on December 27th, and this was our first chance to celebrate with her. We all met up at her house in Cockeysville, and then headed out, trusting our lives to Mike behind the wheel. After circling for what seemed like forever looking for street parking, and one miserable attempt at parallel parking, we finally gave in and paid five bucks to park on a lot close to where we were wanting to go. Then off to Magerks we went!

It was such a cool little place! Downstairs there were two bars and upstairs was the dance floor, along with another bar. Not that I am really sure the second floor was meant to be a dance floor—I think it was more a matter of everyone up there was just sort of dancing. They played the best mix of music! One minute you would be dancing it up to Prince or Madonna, the next 50 cent or Gwen Stefani. In other words, you never knew what was going to come on next, so it kept you on your toes!

It was a strange night, of course. I have finally come to terms with the fact that if I am involved, strange things are going to happen. The first oddity of the night came early on, when we asked this guy to take a picture of our group for us. Before he would, Gemma had to take a picture of him with me. Don’t ask me why—he didn’t even continue talking to me at this point (he later came back, but still). He had our picture taken, took the picture of the group, and walked away. Who knows! Eventually we started dancing some with him and his friends, who included this girl named Kelly. She seemed normal enough, but ended up being a bit off. She danced with us for maybe half an hour, and then the rest of the night, she kept bringing random people over to meet us, guys and girls both. She would walk up to us, do introductions, they would dance with us for a few minutes, and then she would be off again, only to come back a little while later with someone new. It was very, very odd and we couldn’t figure out the reasoning behind it, no matter how hard we tried. But, even that wasn’t the strangest thing of the evening, at least not for me. That point came when some guy took my picture. I looked up and there was this camera pointed straight at me, and snap, my picture was taken. The guy who took it then caught my eye and smiled at me, then went back to dancing with the girl he was with. I looked around to see if I was mistaken and maybe he was taking a picture of someone or something else, but nope, nothing else on interest was in my general vicinity. I was taller than most everyone around me, so unless he was shooting for the tops of heads, he had to be aiming at me. Weird, weird, weird. As my coworker, Kelly, so nicely put it, “You are in the spank-bank now!” I don’t even want to think about what my picture is now being subjected to....

There was one point in the night that was very emotional for me. I haven’t posted any about the tragedy in WV last week because I try to keep this blog at least somewhat light hearted. But, right now is an extremely emotional time for West Virginians, no matter where they may be located now. Most everyone in WV has or has had someone they know that works in the mines, and an event like last week is a constant threat that you dare not to think about. The death of those twelve miners is something that I can’t find the words to explain, and my heart goes out to all of their families, and I continue praying for the one man that lived. With that being said, the sad part of the evening came when the DJ played County Roads as a tribute. Even typing now, my eyes are becoming glossy with tears. It touched me to think that all across the country, people are coming together to remember those men and their tragic deaths. And I have to admit, hearing that song here made me just a bit homesick. It is a staple at bars back home, but I can honestly say I never thought I would hear it here, much less hear an entire bar of Baltimoreans singing along. It was a very touching, emotional moment for me, one that won’t soon be forgotten.

The rest of the evening, minus odd occurrences, was spent dancing and drinking, just all in all having a good time. I will definitely be heading back to Magerks sometime in the near future to spend my night dancing away once again! Gotta try to keep myself young somehow!

Strange things...

A few months back I opened an account with Myspace, because some of my friends have blogs on there, and the only way you can comment on one is if you have an account. Since I joined, I have had quite a few weirdos try to "befriend" me, all of which I have denied. The cool part about it though is that I have gotten back in touch with some people from my past who I had lost touch with. Which now brings me to the strange part. A girl who once seriously threatened my life sent me a friend request. This is a girl who had very detailed plans of how she was going to torture and kill me. And she thinks I would want to get back in touch with her!?!?!?!? I don't care if it has been ten years ago--that is just something that you don't forget. For years my nickname for her has been "Crazy Psycho Bitch." I was floored when I saw the request. At first, I didn't believe it could possibly be her, because, come on, just how crazy would she have to be to do that? But, looking over the rest of the profile, sure enough, it was. Now I am not sure what to do. Maybe she is sane now and just wants to be friends, or maybe she is trying to pad her friend list with as many people as possible. Or maybe, just maybe, she is still nuts and is trying to find me to carry out her plans! Okay, so I doubt that is what it is, but you can't help but feel that way about someone WHO HAS WANTED YOU DEAD. If I accept her request, that lets this psycho back in my life. But if I deny it, and she is even half as nuts as she used to be, it might just piss her off and I definitely don't want to do that! Urgh!

If you were me, what would you do?