A favor

This is going to be a short post, but a very important one. Yesterday, Emma Stephens was born and she is having a rough beginning to her little life. She is the daughter of Bridget and Jaime Stephens, my sister's brother and sister-in-law. Emma is having some breathing problems and had to be taken to NICU last night. For those of you that pray, I ask that you say a prayer that all will go well for her and her family. So far she seems to be a fighter, so hopefully all will be okay. Thanks!

Up and downs

Working from home can be a blessing or a curse. Take today for example--I was at the office again for the staff meeting/retirement party. We were all sitting around after lunch, still celebrating, sharing stories of old times and it really made me miss having coworkers around. I love the freedom of not having to get up and travel to work, I just walk to the next room, but there is something to be said about the friendships that you make in an office setting. I actually worked in the office, off an on, for five years, so I have a lot of friends there. We see each other from time to time outside of work, but it just isn't the same. I miss out on the everyday things. So, it can be a real bummer. At the same time, it would be a real bummer to get back into rush hour traffic everyday, even for my favorite coworkers.

Good news--my stiches came out today. YAY!!! Bad news--turns out that I wasn't having a reaction to the stiches, but rather, I was having a reaction to the polysporin that I was applying twice a day to the stitches. And, me being the scientist that I am, I had to test this theory before I would believe it. I have been putting a little bit of polysporin on my stomach for the last few days each time that I put it on my stitches. As I am sure you can guess, I now have a rash on my belly that is also itching very, very badly. I sometimes worry about my intelligence. :) Feel free to laugh with me--it is very funny. Additional good news--no cancer. Woo-hoo!

No news on the man front today, so nothing to update you on there. Trust me, anything good happens, I will be shouting it from the rooftops! :)

That's it for the day. Later!

Being single is not a disease!

Today I was in a staff meeting at the office all day. It is nice to see my coworkers for a change, but I really hate staff meetings. They are long, boring excuses for your boss to fuss about stuff. Since I only see some of these people once a year, at these meetings, the inevitable question came up. "So, any men in your life?" This is almost always a question that shouldn't be asked if you aren't sure the answer is yes--it just annoys us single people. Not the question itself so much as the sympathy that comes after it. "Well, hang in there." "There is someone out there for everyone." And so on and so on. The shocked looks don't help any either. You all know the one--it clearly says that you must have the plague or something to still be single after all these years. That, or you must be gay. Nothing against gay people, I have friends who are. My being single at 27 though shouldn't lead people to think that I am gay. It only means that I haven't met the right guy, and I refuse to settle for just any guy off the street. To make things even better, the guy who made the face later said something about gay marriages and then looked at me as though he was wondering if he had offended me! Luckily, he is the one who I only see once a year, so after tomorrow I won't have to deal with him again until this time next year.

When you run into people like that, don't you want to play with their minds a little? See, I don't particularly like this guy anyways, so the thought did cross my mind to mess with him. I wouldn't do anything bad, maybe just throw a few comments around about girlfriends. :) I do have lots of female friends, so would it really to wrong to call them "girl" friends? I will behave myself though. This guy is a bigwig in our program, and I may need him for a reference down the road, so I won't antagonize him. At least not yet. :)

I am finally getting around to posting a picture of my little monster. Doesn't she look too cute and sweet to be so mean? 

Shoot!

I called him, and I have to say, I don't think I am interested.  Maybe as a friend, but there just doesn't seem to be any kind of chemistry between us.  And I hate that, because he is such a nice guy.  Already though I can see that there are way too many differences for things to ever go anywhere.  The conversation flowed easily, but I found myself bored and wanting to get off the phone.  I was never so thankful for call waiting.  So, the call ended with me telling him I had to go take the other call.  He said he would call later this week and I'll break it to him then that I just don't see it working.

Miracles do happen!

I don't have to worry about him calling--miracle of miracles, he has called not once, but twice.  I haven't been home either time, so I haven't actually talked to him, but at least he called.  

So, the fact that he has already called twice made me kind of question him.  He didn't even give me a day to call him back before I had another message from him, so it makes him look a little too eager to me.  It is nice that a guy is finally showing interest, so I am not really going to knock it.  I said something to my sister about it and she just thought I was awful for even daring to question it, and chewed me out for it.  But, if I called a guy that I had just met, twice, within 24 hours of meeting him, he would likely peg me as psycho and needy and never return my call.  It is a double standard that I can't question the same of the guy who does it to me.  There might just be something to that two day rule--get a number and wait two days before calling to keep from looking desperate.  And the fact that he called the next day didn't really bother me, just the fact that I haven't even had a chance to return his call before he called me again. 

Yeah, I know, I am too judgmental and picky or whatever else you would like to say.  Don't worry though, I am going to call him back.  Along with everything else, I am forgiving to a fault and keep giving people lots of "second" chances.   

A good night!

Well, tonight was a decent night in my world of dating.  I met a guy who seems to be an extremely nice guy.  He is nice looking, Christian, charming, fun to be with--just an all around nice guy.  And he wasn't all pushy about hitting on me.  There is nothing worse than an arrogant, cocky guy hitting on you, expecting you to fall at his feet, ever so thankful that he is giving you the chance.  In fact, this guy didn't hit on me at all--he used my sister and brother-in-law as buffers, going through them to find out if I would be interested.  Which was sort of endearing.  At first I wasn't too sure about telling them to give him my number, because he just isn't the type of guy I usually go for.  Of course, with my history, that is probably a good thing.  :)  But, he just grows on you, so I figured I would take a chance. 

What is my type of guy?  Jerks--just kidding!  I just seem to find more than my fair share of them out there.  I hate to admit it, but I am drawn to pretty, poster boys or to rebels.  And, not to insult and nice rebels or nice pretty boys, but there seems to be an unusually large number of them that are jerks.  The pretty boys know they are pretty so they think they can get away with it and the rebels just think you expect it out of them.  So, when you chose to date those groups of people, you tend to date more jerks. 

Anyhow, this guy doesn't fit into either group.  He is very Christian, maybe too much so, which makes him anything but a rebel.  And he is cute in a cuddly teddy bear kind of way, far from a handsome pretty boy way.  He is a big guy, somewhat overweight, but that didn't detract from his looks.  Thinking back, most of the guys I have dated have been pretty skinny also, or at least they have started out that way.  I like to cook, and some have tended to put on a few pounds while we were together. 

Now starts the waiting game.  If he is as nice as he seems, I should have a call within a few days.  I'll keep you updated!

A note on the "maybe too much so" Christian comment.  I am an active Christian and proud to be one and I really do try to live a decent life.  And I do want to find a good Christian man.  However, I do not want a "Bible-banger" who will try to shove religion down my throat.  I'm not really sure this guy will do that, but his faith is a huge part of his life, so it is just a tiny little worry of mine.

Hmmm...

To keep naming my posts, chapter two, three, four, etc. is boring.  I am going to have to think of something better.

I am bored again, so I figured I would get back on here and do some more writing.  So that people can better understand things from my first post, and from my sister's blog, I am going to write some about recent dating experiences.

In the last year, I have been stood up or not called back more times than I want to try to count.  My self-esteem has really taken a beating from it.  I keep telling myself, it's not me, it's them, but after it happening again and again, you have to start wondering.

The first time I was ever stood up was by a guy named Joe.  We knew each other in college, but lost touch after I graduated.  On one of my return trips from Chicago last year I ran into him in O'Hare Airport, of all places.  He was living in Minneapolis at the time and was on his way to WV for a visit.  By chance, we were on the same flight, seated next to one another.  So, while we waited we went and got a drink and started catching up on old times.  Through the entire flight we talked, laughed, and just really enjoyed each other.  He asked me out for that night, but I was pooped, so I turned him down.  We did get together the next night though, and had a great time.  I was hesitant to go out with him because he still had that frat boy attitude, and I had enough of that in college to last me a lifetime.  But, we were having fun, so I figured, hey, it was something to do.  We made plans for the next night also, 7:00, since he was leaving in a couple of days to head back to Minneapolis.  Well, 7:00 comes and goes, with no Joe.  About 10:30 I get a phone call from him.  His excuse, "I was riding around with my friend in his cop car."  Of course, I asked him why he couldn't have called earlier, but he had no answer.  He begged to come on over, but I had no want to see him, so I wouldn't let him.  Plus, I know a booty call when I see one, and he wasn't about to get to go there!    What really sucked the most about it, more than being stood up, was that fact that I was stood up by a guy I didn't even really want to be going out with.  I gave him the chance to prove he was a guy I wanted and he blew it.  In his defense, he did call again and apologize.  But, the trust was gone.

Frank, from a previous post, happened just a couple months after that.  It was then that I turned to online dating.  Almost immediately after I posted my profile, Toby e-mailed me.  We had a lot in common and never lagged for something to talk about.  We eventually moved on to phone calls, and finally decided to meet.  We went to Sohos for dinner, and from what I could tell, things went really well.  Afterwards he walked me to my car, told me that he had a wonderful time, and would love to see me again.  I agreed, so he asked if he could cook me dinner at his place.  He knew I was leaving for Chicago in a couple of days, so I figured I would get a phone call before I left.  I didn't, but really didn't think much about it.  When I returned, I called him to let him know I was back in town, but he never returned my call.  Now, it wasn't like I was gone for a month and tried to rekindle something--I was gone for a week.  Surely in that amount of time he didn't forget about making plans with me.  I saw him online a few times, even said hi once, but again, nothing.

So, by this point I am really fed up with dating and declare that I am giving it up for good.  Not that this was the first, nor I am sure the last time I will ever declare that.  And of course, it didn't stick--I swear I am a glutton for punishment.  :)

My neighbor, Kathy, decided that she wanted to fix me up with someone.  So, her husband, Rick, and her look around for a decent single guy, and find out that he works with one, Bill.  Bill has just recently graduated pharmacy school and started working with Rick, so they didn't know each other very well, but both Rick and Kathy thought he seemed like a really nice guy--tall, nice looking, single, and he had a good future ahead of him.  Since this was set-up, we decide to double date, just to try to make things more comfortable.  I get ready, head over to Kathy's, where we are to meet, and sit, waiting, with Bill a no-show.  We try to call him, but no luck.  So, we fixed ourselves a drink, sat back, and started discussing how I could possibly have this much bad luck with men.  Hell, this one hadn't even met me and he decided to stand me up!  Finally, about an hour or so after he was supposed to be there, we get a call.  He had gotten lost in St. Albans and, rather than use his cell or stop by a pay phone, he turned around and went home before he called.  He said he got "pissed" when he couldn't find us and just went home.  Okay, you big baby, stop and ask for directions.  Well, we were still hungry and Kathy was doing the talking, so she made plans for us to meet at the restaurant.  I was no longer excited by this point, but agreed to go anyways.  We get there, and the guy is already drunk.  Our dinner conversation includes that fact that he hates dogs, likes strippers, and his ultimate goal in life is to open a Hooters franchise.  I just want the evening to end, but he is so drunk that we can't let him drive home.  So, he comes back to Kathy's with us and the disastrous evening continues.  Finally, it is time to come home and I get up to leave.  He got up to walk me home, which is only a couple of houses away, and I tried to keep him from doing so.  With insistence, I allow him to go as far as Kathy's driveway with me.  He asks if I am really single, which of course I was or I wouldn't have been there, and asks if he can call me.  I contemplated that for a moment and decided to give him a second chance, so I told him sure, to go ahead and call.  After all, the evening had got off to a horrible start, so maybe under different circumstances, things would be better.  Though I am sure you can guess that he never did call, I feel the need to go ahead and put it down.  This was the only time that I can remember telling a guy to call me that I was sort of relieved when he didn't.  But, it still sucks.  I made it as clear as possible that I wasn't really interested by not letting him walk me home.  Why go through the bother of asking if he had no intentions of calling? 

Well, I am starting to get hungry, so I think I am going to go find some dinner. 

Random Ramblings

I am taking a sick day from work today.  I slept horrible last night, not even beginning to fall asleep until after three in the morning.  Plus, I had a stomach ache and my hip was bothering me.  So, I just plain didn't feel up to getting out of bed this morning.  I decided to use some of my sick time and waste the day away, pretty much doing nothing.  And to fill my time I have decided to post some random things on here.  Don't worry, I will get back to my stories, this will just give you some more insight into who I am and what is going on in my life.

For those of you reading this that don't know me, I want to let you know that I own a monster.  Granted, she looks like a small dog, but she is truly a monster.   Sometime I will post a pic of her so you can see how sweet and innocent she looks.  She has an aggressive streak a mile wide, and she is overly protective of me.  I have to take her to the vet next month for her shots and I am dreading it because the last time we were there she literally tried to attack him.  In fact, I am considering drug therapy for her because she is completely out of control sometimes.  She can be the sweetest little dog you would ever want to know, but then the next second she is attacking someone's foot.  Luckily she is full grown at ten pounds, so she can't really do any harm, at least to adults.  The reason I am considering drugs is because of my nephews.  They are 13 months and 5 months (different mothers) and I am afraid to have her around them.  So far the only time she has snapped at either of them was once when Izzy fell on top of her.  In fact, she seems to adore them, but she is so unpredictable that I can't trust her.  Her name is Baciana Bronwyn, Baci for short.  I wanted to name her Diablo, but my family was so against that.  Little did they know what she was going to turn out to be!

Well, enough about my dog.  I am really bored, almost wishing I was working.  But, it is nice to have a day every now and then when you really don't have anything to do. 

If you have never had stitches in your hip, be happy, and do everything in your power to keep in that way.  I went last Friday to have a funny looking mole on my right hip removed.  I have had a couple of others removed in the past, and the doctor has frozen them and scraped them off--a little pain immediately, but I was back to normal within a day or two.  This time though, my family doctor referred me to a dermatologist and he did a punch biopsy, which left me with four stitches right on my hip bone.  I was not expecting this, so when he said he had put some stitches in and I would need to return in 12 days for them to removed, I was a bit shocked.  Then he added that I needed to severely limit my movement until then because, with the location, it would be very easy to rip them out.   I have done pretty well with that, and I think they are going to stay put without any problem.  Also, because of the location, I am unable to drive right now.  My seat belt hits right on top of the place and sends severe pain through my entire body.  You don't realize how much you depend on a car until you can't drive.  And to make matters oh so much better, it now appears that I am having a reaction to the sutures.  I got out of the shower this morning and went to apply my polysporin, only to realize that I have lots on tiny little red bumps all around it, and it is itching like mad!  Immediately I think my leg is trying to rot off (okay, so not really, but it did scare me), so I call the doctor and they say it is nothing to worry about--just to keep taking care of it as I have been and it will go away after the stitches come out.  Easy enough for them to say--they aren't the ones who want to scratch holes in their leg.  But, I will live.  I have lived through far worse than this, so this is a breeze, even if it is an crazy, annoying one.  :)

One last random thing about me and I think I will end this post.  I recently acquired a bar for my living room.  Long story short, a friend owned it, was moving, couldn't take it, and passed it to me.  It is so cool!  I am not a big drinker, but I love to entertain, so it is the perfect accessory for my house.  It is about 6 1/2 feet long, about 1 1/2 feet deep, and stands about four feet high--the perfect height to stand and rest your arms on.  It is black leather with lots of shelves in the back for storage.  My living room set is red leather, so it goes perfectly in there.  The one odd thing about it though is that is has the letters K R really big on the front of it.  No, it wasn't my friends initials, his name is Justin,  but we are guessing they are the initials of the original owner.  Anyways, Justin and his roomies called it the "Krusty Rubber."  I was not about to have anything in my house by that name, so one night a couple of my friends came over to break it in and rename it.  We did a couple of shots and broke out the dictionaries.  The two names we liked the best were Karma Rising and Kabuki Rodeo.  As the night wore on and more drinks were had, Kabuki Rodeo won out.  We just couldn't say it without laughing.  That has been about a month ago, and I haven't come up with anything better yet, so I think it is going to stick.  Yes, it is strange, but it is funny also.  I have another friend, Shawn, who is planning on drawing me a picture of a Kabuki doll on a bull to hang by it.  If he really does it, then the name will definitely stay.  But, until I have something concrete for Kabuki Rodeo, I am up for suggestions. 

Well, I think that is enough random things for now.  Likely I will get on here later and get back to posting single stories again.

Chapter one...

Well, I saw that Just Me left a comment on my last post, so I checked out his blog (interesting, btw).  He mentioned that he has a wedding coming up this weekend, so I thought I would start with my wedding stories, well, one in particular.  You always hear that weddings are great places to pick up people, and from my experience, that holds true.  I have gone single to more than a couple weddings, and left with a man on my arm, but one story sticks out amongst the others.

Like I mentioned, pretty much all of my friends are married, so I have attended quite a few weddings.  At one last year, in which I was a bridesmaid, I had my pick of a few of the groomsmen.  They were all nice looking, but one caught my eye more than the others, Frank.  Which, now that I think about it, of those that I could have had, he was really not the best looking, but something about him won me over.  There was just this immediate attraction between us and, though it is a huge cliche, we just clicked.  We ended up spending the entire evening, into the wee hours of the morning, dancing and talking.  He was leaving the next day to go home to Pittsburgh, so I really didn't figure I was going to see him again, after I left to go to my friend's house for the night.  But, the next morning , before I had left Huntington to head home, he called and came to where I stayed to pick me up, just so he could see me once more before he headed out.  Well, long story short, he followed me back to my house and didn't end up leaving for two days.  And it was not a sexual thing--I know that is what most people are going to think.  He then had to go home, but came back two days later and stayed for three more days.  

We had so much fun together, like we were crazy in love.  He even told me once that he had completely fallen for me, and, though it was in another language (German, if I remember right), he even told me that he loved me.  So, the day comes when he has to go home again and it was a heart-wrenching goodbye.  We made jokes about the other not being able to see anyone else, and then he got all serious on me and said that he really didn't want us seeing other people.  Hey, this was fine with me--I had finally found a guy that was super-intelligent, treated me like I was a queen, and was already nuts about me, in a week's time.  Plus, he wasn't just out for sex!!!  Sounds like we were dating, right?  Well, to this day, I haven't heard from him again.  For the first couple of days, I thought, he has been gone for a week, he is just busy.  Then I started worrying--the weather was horrible when he left, he was surely dead or seriously hurt from a car wreck.  Finally I tried calling, with no answer.   Then I tried e-mail.  That was how I finally decided that my wonderful guy had just decided to ditch me.  See, I could check to see if he read my e-mail.  When I saw that he had, and I didn't get a reply, then I finally accepted that it was over.

Why does a guy go nutso like that?  I have talked to our mutual friends, and they can't give me any clue about it either.  I find it hard to believe that it was all a lie.  For one thing, I hardly think he would have driven home to Pittsburgh, just to return two days later if he hadn't really felt something.  And it wasn't because I didn't sleep with him--he didn't even try to go there.  And if he had changed his mind during our last couple of days together, why did he bring up us not seeing other people any longer?  So, I am still baffled as to what happened.  Men are SO confusing!

As for the other wedding pick-ups, they never ended well either, but this was the most interesting story. 

The story begins...

So, since my sister has made it her quest to find me a man, I have decided to change the focus of my blog.  Now that it is out there that I am single and looking—I may as well have some fun and let everyone know the trials I go through to have a dating life.  You can read my stats on my sister’s blog, as well as see what prompted me to do this.  I have decided that my family is slowly giving up on me, so I must get out there and do something about it.
 
First, a little history about my dating life.  To put it bluntly, it sucks.  It seems that I missed my window in college to find a man, so now I must wonder around aimlessly, hoping that a good one will fall into my path. 
 
The college years:  During this time I dated lots of guys, but two were somewhat serious.  The first serious one, Todd, lasted about seven months, and ended when I broke up with him.  Our goals were not the same, he was focused on money, I was focused on happiness, money or not, so it just didn’t work out.  The other, Brian, was the guy that started my downward spiral in the dating world.
 
Brian was all you wanted in a guy—smart (or so he made you think that at first), funny, good-looking, and determined to make something of himself in this world.  We dated for almost two years before I had just finally had enough and ended things.  At the beginning of our relationship, he would write poems for me and do the little things that mattered.  We talked a lot about the future, even named our kids.  One day, only a few months into the relationship, we even went to look at engagement rings.  The day ended with me flying out of the jewelry store, completely freaked out.  But, that is another story.  What it should have shown me though was that this was not the guy I should be with.  But, I persevered, determined to make this relationship work.  We talked about the ring fiasco, decided it was just too early in our relationship for such a big step, and moved on.  Before you know it, our first anniversary is upon us.  I thought that everything was going great and couldn’t believe that I had finally made it to the one year mark with someone, and we were still happy.  Little did I know that on our anniversary, he was making plans with his ex-girlfriend to meet up for a secret little rendezvous while I was at work.  I found out about this about a month or so later.   For some stupid reason, I stuck with him, him denying ever making plans with her.   And she wasn’t the only one; I later found out—he was also seeing another girl that I worked with.   After I found out about the second girl, I decided I had had enough, and broke up with him.   That is when the “fun” started.  He decided that I wasn’t allowed to leave him, so he started stalking me.  At first, I thought it was pretty innocent, but then it progressed to him calling my male friends with threats, warning them to stay away from me.  Then he started standing on my balcony, watching in my bedroom window at night, to see if I was alone.  And not only did he follow me, when he would lose track of me, he would follow my roommates (two of which were male), certain that I had started seeing one of them.  Things were said, threats were made, and it all ended with him leaving the state.
 
Needless to say, this left me a little leery of men for a while.  So, my last year of college, when I should have been out finding my soul mate, I spent most of my time either alone, or hanging out at a friend's house. 
 
Then graduation came and that was the end of easy dating.  I have moved on since Brian, and no longer fear dating in the least, but now finding a decent date is tough.  While you are in college, you have a plethora of men, a different one for every day if you feel like it.  Once you get out in the real world, things are completely different. 
 
For one thing, in my job I don’t meet a lot of eligible bachelors.  In fact, I work from home, so I don’t even have any outside contact most days.  So, the question is, where does a girl like me go to meet men?  I have tried the bar scene, and it is so sickening.  The guys I have met that way are all out for one night stands, never to be seen again.  So, I have given up on that.  How about blind dates set up by your friends?  Been there, done that, still no luck.  It doesn’t help that all but a couple of my friends are married, meaning that they have now moved into the married stage of life, where all of their friends are couples.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends dearly, but when you move into the married stage, you don’t have a large pool of friends that are single to set other single friends up with.  Then there is the internet.  I have gone to a couple of sites, still without any luck.  I actually did meet one guy in person and will tell you all about that in another post.
 
So, I figure this post is plenty long enough and that if anyone is still reading, they are wishing I would just shut up.  I am going to do just that.  Check back and I will be posting many, many disastrous stories of my dating life, past and present.  That is, present, if I ever manage to get another date.  Well, better yet, a second date.  You will better understand that in the posts to come.